Sunday

So… like the title says it’s Sunday. And yeah, it is a sunny day actually. The week day doesn’t lie today. Funny thought.

So, still Sunday. Thought of what to do today. I don’t pray to a god so that’s out of the equation. I don’t have a job, haven’t had for almost three months now but I like to see it as Im working on myself. Why is that so much harder than working for someone else. They give you instructions, show you what area you need to stay in. Do this, place that here. If someone ask for this say this. Fuck that’s so simple.

Now, working on myself Im kinda my own boss. I do like the sound of that but Im kind a unexperienced so far I think. Because I can be really lazy for myself, or maybe not lazy because I do want to get shit done. Just don’t know in what order and maybe not what to prioritize at the moment. What is the best strategy for this moment in the future self I want to become. I’ve never been the person I desire to be so I don’t really have a reference. That’s easy when you manage a company where there are strict guidelines to what the future should look like. I have zero idea about mine. Kind a like that as well because I do love surprises. Rape would be a horrible surprise so many not all kinds.

Im not trying to be a lier I just can get ahead of my thoughts sometimes. I’ve never had any problems with saying that I can be wrong about something if the argument about it is convincing enough and I understand the statement. So maybe Im discussing with myself everyday now when I am my own employer and my own boss about what my guidelines should be. Rome wasn’t build in a day and I am only 28 years old so don’t really have anything to stress about. I have crazy loads of time ahead so time isn’t really an issue. But I do live in a consumer based society so I need money so get the things I need for just basic survival. Im living at my mum right now and it’s not that bad but in the same time, it’s bad. But I do love her and it has its moments.

I understand that I need this time to evaluate myself so find out what kind of individual I want to become, and that takes time. Who knows how long but only time can show me that so I kind a have to enjoy the journey as the best of my capabilities. And, it’s Sunday. I’ve written my own morning pray actually which Im really fond of, not in a religious way but its just words that encourage to strive forward. I had a weird kinda a bad but not really bad dream, more just weird uncomfortable one so I didn’t think of it when I woke up. I wrote it just three days ago so it hasn’t become a rutin yet. I’ll finish this up, read it to be out loud and figure out the next best thing to do. On this sunny day!

Thanks ?

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